As I unlocked the front door of 27 Blackheath Gardens, he
whom they call Beefy was coming out of his house. Tailing him was one whom I had not identified
before they disappeared behind a tree. After
greeting Beefy, the unidentified re-emerged as Paul Ryan. They asked what I had done the night before
and I answered that I had been writing a story.
Then after bidding them good day, I added to Paul “see you on Saturday”. He screwed his face up in miscomprehension,
his right eye moving down to meet his rising right nostril, replying “what?” Only on Saturday did I realise that both
Beefy and Paul were on their way to Twickenham to see Munster play.
So Paul Ryan did not play that weekend. ‘Twas not until the following
Tuesday night at Phoenix Park that I saw Paul Ryan. Before our twenty overs match when Paul and
I, amongst others , were in the dressing room, a lull in the conversation was broken
as Paul swiftly lifted his head looked straight at me and said “you’ve gotta
write a story about me”.
“I don’t know what kind of story it would be, I don’t know
you” I answered.
“Oh!” exhaled Paul Ryan “you’ll think if something”
Perhaps not at this moment though definitely some time soon
after, young Paul Ryan not only said “I’m a character” but also “I’m special, I’m
very special”
During the match my first ball was so far down leg side that
it went for four. The hero of our story
was fielding at mid-wicket. I heard a grunt of disgust after I bowled the
ball. I walked back to my bowling mark,
waiting to get the ball back from Paul.
He stared at me long enough for me to know he disapproved of it and in
case I had not understood, he must have thought I would understand when he
rolled the ball back to me.
For the first round of the Conqueror Cup the Clontarf side
travelled to Malahide vainly waiting for the rain to stop yet stuck waiting in
the dressing room until two o’clock for the match to be called off.
Captain, Ronan O’Reilly, during the team’s dressing room
vigil, asked who would be available for the double header next weekend. When Ronan asked Andrew Cullen, the latter’s
face grew solemn with disappointment before, with bowed head, saying “oh!, I’ve
got to go away that weekend”
“Bah” exclaimed Paul, pointing at Andrew “don’t try and keep
a straight face” He turned to Ronan and said “ah! Look at him”
By this time Andrew had stopped looking disappointed about
being in Greece the following weekend, and had begun to laugh in fact and also
to have his hands out and body crouched in readiness for the arrival of Paul Ryan,
charging across the dressing room straight for him. Paul forced Andrew into the
corner of the dressing room, larks for all to see, rumbling about Ronan’s
kit. “get off my gear! C’mon Paul” said
Ronan. Paul looked surprised at Ronan, saying with incredulity “ id you hear
what he said. Oh I’ve got to go away that weekend – ha ha ha. Look at him! I’ve got to go away that weekend
– he looks really disappointed”.
A week or two later as I was leaving The Yacht, I came
across Paul Ryan. He urged me to stay
for one more drink and kindly bought me a Vodka. We clinked glasses I took a
sip while Paul finished off his (at least) two thirds full pint. He confessed to me that he was a fitness
fanatic.
“You’ve got to write that article remember”
“I’ve not forgotten”
“And you can’t make things up, it’s gotta be real”
“I’ll write candidly”
“Oh! Good, good, good, good”
After our victory against CYM I met up with a friend who was
in Dublin for a few days. Someone in the
pub heard my (Australian) accent, asked what I was doing here and, on finding
out I was a Clontarf cricketer, pointed to his friend Darragh, a member of Clontarf
Rugby Club. “aha, so you know Paul Ryan then”
“Oh, Paul Ryan! Manic bastard. He knows all the words to heaps of songs and
he sing ‘em all. You know that song
Maniac?”
“Yes”
“ And you know the film clip was done at the Club”
“Yes”
“Well Ryner knows all the words to that one, too, and he
sings the whole thing in the shower when we win”.
 |
| Paul Ryan in "playfully" mood at the 2000 team photo shoot, Marc Jones is second from left in back row |
Back at Malahide for the rescheduled date of our first Cup
match. Start delayed by rain. Many of the lads in the team ate breakfast
rolls wrapped in foil upon arrival in the dressing room. Mr. Desmond McCann also brought a bag of
grapes with his breakfast roll. As the
rolls were finished and foil scrunched up, grapes were thrown from one end of
the dressing room to mouths open at the other end. Here, one Paul Ryan smelt opportunity and
urged Thinnus to watch slowly the oncoming grape, smiling, winking and nodding
his head afterwards. Mr. McCann said “Thinnus,
watch the grape and Ryner as well.” Even
the warning did not stop Paul from throwing the foil at Thinnus’ mouth.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is all I can say for now
regarding he who goes by the name of “The General” Why?
General Mayhem I was told
Marc Jones, June 2000
(This article first appeared in the Club Brochure 2000)
